I Just Don’t Like Him!

I really cannot help it. I not only dislike him but my feelings are bordering on outright animosity and that is not good!

I am talking about my very good friend’s new boyfriend when I say this.

He gives me the creeps – why? I just am not completely sure. I have a strong gut feeling about him with her. Have been wondering whether, or not, I should discuss it with my friend or not. We have been close friends for years now. I am very much of two minds.

What to do – I am beginning to lose sleep over it. He triggers a strong intuitive personal reaction, something like repulsion. Surely this type of feeling goes far beyond a rational and fair explanation? Or does it. I certainly am not jealous of her and him – I can say that with 100% confidence.

I am generally an objective person but it does not seem I can be with him at this stage. Can honestly say I have only ever felt this strongly once or twice before. Was I right on these occasions – one time YES the other time only partially! That is one of the reasons for my confusion what to do about it.

Feeling like this is complex; the situation is a real challenge. It is all very well for people to advise “just ignore it” or “pretend and the feeling will change”. I could do that but how bad would I feel in the end if something bad happened and I had not cautioned her?

Well I have come up with a few ideas to utilise to work through not only my feelings towards this particular guy but how to best deal with similar feelings if they occur.

SO, I have decided to;

  1. Listen to My Gut
  2. Notice/Concentrate on my Thoughts
  3. Accept when the issue is mine not theirs
  4. Acknowledge it appropriately when there is something else going on.

“Listening to your Gut” really is learning to understand a language without words. Really listen, think and consider. Then act (if required) not before!

“Noticing your Thoughts” is all about paying close attention to them – they should provide you will insights into why you are feeling a particular way. But you need to be constructive and don’t just operate from emotions! Well, that is what a psychologist friend of mind advises anyway!

In other words I suppose I need to investigate the root of my feeling towards the person – really seriously think and consider. And if I decide that I really am justified in my feelings, then, and only then I need to summon the courage to sit down and talk to her about it.

Wish me luck!