I really cannot help it. I not only dislike him but my feelings are bordering on outright animosity and that is not good!
I am talking about my very good friend’s new boyfriend when I say this.
He gives me the creeps – why? I just am not completely sure. I have a strong gut feeling about him with her. Have been wondering whether, or not, I should discuss it with my friend or not. We have been close friends for years now. I am very much of two minds.
What to do – I am beginning to lose sleep over it. He triggers a strong intuitive personal reaction, something like repulsion. Surely this type of feeling goes far beyond a rational and fair explanation? Or does it. I certainly am not jealous of her and him – I can say that with 100% confidence.
I am generally an objective person but it does not seem I can be with him at this stage. Can honestly say I have only ever felt this strongly once or twice before. Was I right on these occasions – one time YES the other time only partially! That is one of the reasons for my confusion what to do about it.
Feeling like this is complex; the situation is a real challenge. It is all very well for people to advise “just ignore it” or “pretend and the feeling will change”. I could do that but how bad would I feel in the end if something bad happened and I had not cautioned her?
Well I have come up with a few ideas to utilise to work through not only my feelings towards this particular guy but how to best deal with similar feelings if they occur.
SO, I have decided to;
- Listen to My Gut
- Notice/Concentrate on my Thoughts
- Accept when the issue is mine not theirs
- Acknowledge it appropriately when there is something else going on.
“Listening to your Gut” really is learning to understand a language without words. Really listen, think and consider. Then act (if required) not before!
“Noticing your Thoughts” is all about paying close attention to them – they should provide you will insights into why you are feeling a particular way. But you need to be constructive and don’t just operate from emotions! Well, that is what a psychologist friend of mind advises anyway!
In other words I suppose I need to investigate the root of my feeling towards the person – really seriously think and consider. And if I decide that I really am justified in my feelings, then, and only then I need to summon the courage to sit down and talk to her about it.
Wish me luck!